staying is a TOTAL MISTAKE
I'm sad to be posting such an entry.
I thought there should never be such a post as i'm the 1 who make the decision & i shouldn't be nagging or regreting.
Well... i must 1st admit tt i make mistake @ times but i have nv made such a big big big mistake.
I regreted it. I regreted all about it!
I asked myself "why did u choose it this way in the 1st place"?
I have no answer. What i can think of is tt maybe i'm giving too much face or i care to much abt human / friends relationship. Good human relationship doesn't come by juz like ABC... it actually takes quite awhile to built.
The decision was made early Mar & now it's end April. Call it 2 full months & u know what??? Though this 2 mths, i @ least regreted 3 times!!! How useless of me feeling this way.
Like i have said so many times in my previous posts - i made this final decision for many reasons. But now all the many reasons seems to be invaild.
I hate it this way...I really hate it this way...I even hate myself for choosing it this way!
It's not once or twice that i met with nonsense hence i'm giving up...it's the whole enviornment tt's changing! It's nolonger the place i used to grow up from. It's nolonger a place full of laughter & warmth. It's now a place full of stress/black faces/back stabbing etc.
In short it's like Heaven to Hell.
Sometimes i really cannot understand why such things are happening... i guess i juz got to accept it this way that human are selfish & giving of love is limited.
I read this from a stranger blog; I guess along the way to our goal, we may miss out things in our lives. Which may be a worthwhile sacrifice. & i also read the following from ZJ's blog; I'm not a risk taker type & to me, status-quo may not be a bad thing afterall.
For SAL, it's Neither Nor... Cuz i'm so lost!
I guess i'm losing the race. Perhaps because i'm too proud to lose.
The consequence of losing in this race is not about getting lousy appraisal, not about the increment, but the pride that I priced above than anything.
I thought there should never be such a post as i'm the 1 who make the decision & i shouldn't be nagging or regreting.
Well... i must 1st admit tt i make mistake @ times but i have nv made such a big big big mistake.
I regreted it. I regreted all about it!
I asked myself "why did u choose it this way in the 1st place"?
I have no answer. What i can think of is tt maybe i'm giving too much face or i care to much abt human / friends relationship. Good human relationship doesn't come by juz like ABC... it actually takes quite awhile to built.
The decision was made early Mar & now it's end April. Call it 2 full months & u know what??? Though this 2 mths, i @ least regreted 3 times!!! How useless of me feeling this way.
Like i have said so many times in my previous posts - i made this final decision for many reasons. But now all the many reasons seems to be invaild.
I hate it this way...I really hate it this way...I even hate myself for choosing it this way!
It's not once or twice that i met with nonsense hence i'm giving up...it's the whole enviornment tt's changing! It's nolonger the place i used to grow up from. It's nolonger a place full of laughter & warmth. It's now a place full of stress/black faces/back stabbing etc.
In short it's like Heaven to Hell.
Sometimes i really cannot understand why such things are happening... i guess i juz got to accept it this way that human are selfish & giving of love is limited.
I read this from a stranger blog; I guess along the way to our goal, we may miss out things in our lives. Which may be a worthwhile sacrifice. & i also read the following from ZJ's blog; I'm not a risk taker type & to me, status-quo may not be a bad thing afterall.
For SAL, it's Neither Nor... Cuz i'm so lost!
I guess i'm losing the race. Perhaps because i'm too proud to lose.
The consequence of losing in this race is not about getting lousy appraisal, not about the increment, but the pride that I priced above than anything.
posted by sal's at
22:30
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